Frida Kahlo

忘记怎么跑到介绍Frida Kahlo的网页了。　　
才发现到现在还没有看过Frida这部电影。　　
她的画真是非常有冲击力，很多张我都不敢多看。多看几眼就会被痛苦淹没吧？　　
她的生平真是和她的画一般夸张，色彩斑斓，同时充满生机和绝望。就算只是看着电脑屏幕上的图案，我仿佛都能感受她那张扬的生命。

很喜欢这张画像

第一眼看到的时候，我下意识地捂住自己的心，怕它也会被掏出来. I can feel her pain!

我非常羡慕她。她是我无法成为的那种人。能把所有的情绪都这么淋漓尽致的表现出来。　　

同样的，我想我知道为什么西班牙那么吸引我了。那种表露在外，对生命的执著和热情，是我缺乏的。虽然小时候，想成为冷静，处事不惊，情绪不外露的人。结果真的成长为这样的人之后，居然很羡慕那样情绪化，外向的人们。但能远远观望，心中羡慕，却永远无法融入。　　

我想，如果我paint的话，那么，我的画面必然是以冷色为主调，偶尔在不明显的角落，不经意地抹上那么一点暖色。　　

继续寻找能让我感动的东西，也许我会在30岁的时候转行到政府外交部门吧？那样，就可以每3年换一个国家活。可以学不同的语言和了解不同文化，历史，想来，这样的人生我也会满足的了。

Uneventful Day

很平淡的一天
晚上老爸给我来了电话
就教他用msn，弄了好久，他才上了msn，结果还听不见我的声音
远程又连不上
在电话里讲不清楚，真是很frustrating　　
^^　　
弄了2个小时，还错过了capoeira的class，完全郁闷

在youtube上倒是听到很好听的歌- sin miedo a nada，算是今天的highlight了

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_zk7vXvEG5s

Me muero por suplicarte que no te vayas, mi vida,　　
me muero por escucharte decir las cosas que nunca diras, 　　
más me callo y te marchas, 　　
mantego la esperanza de ser capaz algún día 　　
de no esconder las heridas que me duelen al pensar 　　
que te voy queriendo cada día un poco más. 　　
¿cuanto tiempo vamos a esperar? 　　　　
Me muero por abrazarte y que me abraces tan fuerte, 　　
me muero por divertirte 　　
y que me beses cuando despierte acomodado en tu pecho, 　　
hasta que el sol aparezca. 　　
Me voy perdiendo en tu aroma, 　　
me voy perdiendo en tus labios 　　
que se acercan susurrando palabras 　　
que llegan a este pobre corazón, 　　
voy sintiendo el fuego en mi interior. 　　　　
Me muero por conocerte, saber qué es lo que piensas, 　　
abrir todas tus puertas 　　
y vencer esas tormentas que nos quieran abatir, 　　
centrar en tus ojos mi mirada, 　　
cantar contigo al alba,　　
besarnos hasta desgastarnos nuestros labios 　　
y ver en tu rostro cada día crecer esa semilla, 　　
crear, soñar, dejar todo surgir, 　　
aparcando el miedo a sufrir　　　　
Me muero por explicarte lo que pasa por mi mente,　　
me muero por intrigarte y seguir siendo capaz de sorprenderte, 　　
sentir cada día ese flechazo al verte,　　
¿qué más dará lo que digan? ¿ qué más dará lo que piensen? 　　
Si estoy loco es cosa mía　　
y ahora vuelvo a mirar el mundo a mi favor, 　　
vuelvo a ver brillar la luz del sol.　　　　
Me muero por conocerte, saber qué es lo que piensas, 　　
abrir todas tus puertas 　　
y vencer esas tormentas que nos quieran abatir, 　　
centrar en tus ojos mi mirada, 　　
cantar contigo al alba,　　
besarnos hasta desgastarnos nuestros labios 　　
y ver en tu rostro cada día crecer esa semilla, 　　
crear, soñar, dejar todo surgir, 　　
aparcando el miedo a sufrir

Slow Day

本来是想早点起来的　　
结果还是赖到12点才爬起来　　
下午去公司替同事寄掉fedex的信　　
一天就这么晃过去了　　
想了一下这4天的long weekend，居然什么都没有做　　
大部分时间是在睡觉　　
汗　　
虽然是很想去south beaches玩的　　
不过发现居然身边没有单身的朋友　　
5个同事，除了我，都是结婚了或者setteled，也不好意思去打扰人家　　
=_=　　
想make some new friends, 但是自己也不是很social的person，不知道如何开始　　　　
明天又开始上班了　　
想不到我也有i am the job, only的一天　　
^^　　　　
昨天和Y好好地chat了一段时间, 估计她不会那么早就有机会和我去旅行的，还是要先settle她的career吧，看来只能好好计划自己独自旅行了　　
其实这两天也一直在思考is it worth anything to travel around the world? what's the point? even if i understand the human suffering and will spend my second half life for betterment of the world, will that change anything? one person's effort seem laughable compare to all the destructive behaviors of the human race as a whole. 　　
也许我不应该想这么多，those questions will drive me to the point of insanity, 就算我想，想不通，我决定要做的事情还是回去做的，就算撞得头破血流，but i'll have peace at heart　　　　

继续在自学spanish
进程非常非常慢，我目前的学习方法是反复听Lhasa的spanish歌曲，真是消极的方式　　
试了在language partners找人chat,好像也不是很efficient，大家主要还是想practice自己要学的语言，而不是help the other person　　
看来要set一个确定的时间aside, 否则我永远也不会sit down and learn

Gap Year

Yesterday I went to my mom's place to have dinner with her. I told her that I plan to take 2 years off to travel around the world on july 2008. Meaning I'll quit my current job, which everyone thinks is great, and face a very uncertain future. 　　
Of course, my mom is oppose to the idea as expected. She wants to keep me close and keep away any ideas foreign to her from me. LOL 　　I called up my friend Y, see if she wants to travel with me. Two females travel together will not only save money, but also makes the trip a bit safer......　　　　
(后面的没存，忘记了，oh well, i made my effort ^^)

New Year Resolution

一直想keep a journal　　
也一直很羡慕那些可以很努力地每天坚持blog的朋友　　
今年的new year resolution中就有坚持写blog这一项目　　
希望我能坚持住　　　　
The Holy Isle of Avalon always has fascinated me. The Mists of Avalon也是我最喜欢的电影之一。
在此祝愿自己能有一天进入那个mystery realm。也许，只是也许，在我剩下在earth的日子，我会learn the secret of life and obtain wisdom.......

Psychological Age

iust did the psychological age test again, http://www.soku.net/Heart_Default.Asp (chinese), last time i was 35 and now i'm 42... ...
http://www.thedollpalace.com/iq/index.php?manual_article_id=15#ans (english), also, 46

many small events occured since december, like books i read, place i visited, work, dad moved to spain, stress and etc. have changed my perception of a lot things

i know i always think and act like people older than me. some of friends also told me i'm so much more mature than my real age - 中年人的感觉
sometimes i'm confused myself too. when i was 24, sometimes i would think "right now i'm 26 already, i probably should do this or that", then i would realize i'm still 24. it's a very weird feeling. as if i lived in a different speed than other people, as if my life burns out quicker.

maybe i'm really a person like mr Cecil Vyse in A Room with a View: "conventional, Cecil, you're that, for you may understand beautiful things, but you don't know how to use them; and youwrap yourself up in art and books and music, and would try to wrap up me...... You were all right as long as you kept to things"

The Living Road & La Llorona

前两天听了Lhasa De Sela的Decara A La Pased后，就买下了她的2张CD: The Living Road & La Llorona。
封面是一白一黑.
个人来说，更加喜欢The Living Road一些。
也许是对漂泊不定的人来说，都是很有感触地一张CD。
她的声音也非常独特，如黑暗中的流水声，一点也不柔和，带着撕裂，冲击着岩石。

The Living Road的ANYWHERE ON THIS ROAD

"I live in this country now
I'm called by this name
I speak this language
It's not quite the same
For no other reason
Than this it's my home
And the places i used to be far
From are gone

You've travelled this long
You just have to go on
Don't even look bank to see
How far you've come
Throught your body is bending under the load
There is nowthere to stp
Anywhere on this road"

想来大多数离乡漂泊了足够久的人都有这样的感触。名字也换了，讲着不同的语言，曾经叫做“家”的地方再也不是“家”，唯一的方向是继续往前走。

Con Toda Palabra作为主打歌曲也非常动听, youtube上有MV。


La Llorona的主题更为常见些，还是感情所带来的痛苦
La Llorona是一个很有名的墨西哥传说。

“Many versions of La Llorona's origin exist. Some describe a beautiful young woman in Mexico or New Mexico, who married or was seduced by a local man, by whom she had several children. The woman is sometimes given a Christian name; Sofia, Linda, Laura, and María are sometimes used. The man leaves her, sometimes for another woman, sometimes for reasons of employment, and sometimes just to be away from La Llorona and her several children. At any rate, La Llorona chooses to murder her children, almost always by drowning, either to spare them a life of poverty, to free herself to seek another man, or for revenge against their absent or stray father.
The tales vary mostly in the several motives they give to the mother and father for the murder. The version popular in Las Cruces, New Mexico says that "La Llorona" drowned her children in the Rio Grande when she could no longer support them. On nights with a full moon, says the story, La Llorona can be heard crying near the river."

Reference: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/La_Llorona

De cara a la pared是描写她的悲伤吧
El Desierto和Desdenosa都带有强烈的愤怒以及无助的悲哀

"He venido al desierto pa' reirme de tu amor/Que desierto es mas tierno y la espina besa mejor" (I've come to the desert to laugh at your love/The desert is more gentle and the kiss of the thorn is better)

西班牙语的歌曲都感觉很有西班牙的风格。也许只是我的想象。很推荐的2张CD。