David Usher New MV - The Music

Reference: http://www.futureshop.ca/popup/largeimagepopup.asp?logon=&langid=EN&file=/multimedia/products/large/mo2130489.jpg &title=David+Usher+%2D+Strange+Birds

新MV的地址: http://www.davidusher.com/themusic/

David Usher的新专辑strange bird在3月20号会发行，应该是比较好听的一张。从在他个人网站上试听的The Music和Brilliant来说，这张CD的风格应该和morning orbit比较接近。我比较喜欢brilliant

"brilliant" (lyrics)

so far so good
stumble through life so complicated it's nearly impossible
and i lost my way like i knew i would and keep it together somehow anyway
and i remember you and me
climbing over backyard fences diving naked in the swimming pool
all those faces friends those memories fade so fast like every love song on the radio

is it brilliant where you are
where the lights are low
is it brilliant where you are
where the lights are

through a million days through a million hazy nights
we sit amusing in our politics
through wine and talk through sex and art we fill our time
and numb ourselves with what's to come
but i'm older now got a little girl of my own
and her fears are my fears now
i know that it's the end of days for moderates
but thinking people are thinking still

is it brilliant where you are
where the lights are low
is it brilliant where you are
where the lights are

so far so good
stumble through life so complicated it's nearly impossible
and we lost our way like i knew we would
keep it together somehow anyway
woke up from an impossible dream
we talked and we spoke and we drank and we sang
and we danced and we live and we love and we give
and without question or faith then we fight till we hate
and we hope and we pray that this violence will fade
it's always the same it's the same life"

转眼喜欢他的歌词和歌曲已经快十年了。这位叔叔的容颜仿佛不曾老去。他的the music mv让我想起moist的tangerine。同样是深沉的色调和满墙的notes。想来喜欢他歌的主要原因是因为他所要表达的东西和我的想法相当一致。开始喜欢他的歌是因为能confirm my existence，而现在恐怕只是习惯了。

"Lyrically, I think there's a theme to the record," says David Usher of his fifth and newest solo album, Strange Birds, due out March 20. "The theme definitely has to do with finding your place within your own world, which is finding your place in your neighbourhood, which is I guess what I'm doing down here."

Reference: http://www.ellecanada.com/ellecanada/client/en/Trends/DetailNews.asp?idnews=237221

finding your place within your own world 是成熟的表现
可以预见的是我会经常换地方，每换一次地方我就需要finding my place again
和culture shock一样, 会颠覆你的世界观, constantly humbles myself

Life is difficult! We must attest to the fact that life was never meant to be easy, and that it is nothing but a battlefield of problems. We can either moan about them or solve them.

汉服以及其它

早上N对我说，我订的汉服快做好了。是以黑为主，红色为配色。我是给了下面的图片为样本：Reference: http://www.hanminzu.com/bbs/dispbbs.asp?BoardID=42&ID=59036&replyID=&skin=1

据说N的女友喜欢华丽的效果，所以做了很多改动。不知道完成的效果会如何，希望不至于让我穿不出去。汗 =_= 希望能低调一点。

在汉网上看到
Reference: http://www.hanminzu.com/bbs/dispbbs.asp?boardID=42&ID=133562&page=1

真是非常漂亮。不知道头发是怎么梳理的。

现在要考虑一下买一支朴素的银饰，呵呵，败家啊败家

Transition

估计昨天下午喝了茶的关系，根本没有睡觉。
现在已经是昏昏欲睡。
和Y再次讨论了一下travel的问题，估计我是要拖着她上路。安全问题，独自旅行的女子毕竟在很多国家和文化都是不容的，想必父母也会安心许多。其实个人觉得两个人旅行对我来说弊大于利。不但我要照顾自己，还要照顾同伴。希望她能成熟得比较快。给她发了一封budget的email，希望她能给我realistic的reply。
如果是老去的时候，那时候就会有机会独行了，只要能保持健康和体力，那么就少了很多年轻女子的麻烦，还能得到尊敬与帮助。
早上和N聊了一会儿，她为自己出国和不出国在烦恼。人生转折的决定确实给人很大的压力。看不见未来的道路，能有多少人会选呢？
今年还要考虑很多事情。
上个星期的股市狂跌，影响了公司的股票。希望还是1.5年后能攒到目标的数目，旅行也能安心很多。安全感还是我最总要的前提。

The Way

Finally, I think I have chosen the way I want to follow in this life.
Yet, after 10 years, I've come back in full circle right at the same point again. However, I think right now I'm stronger and weaker, a bit wiser, and more aware of what I'm searching for.
Training starts today.
:)

The mystery of life isn't a problem to solve, but a reality to experience.
- The Reverend Mother Gaius Helen Mohiam to Paul Atreides


下午和Mr. H聊了一阵子，非常感谢他的鼓励。

- "Hard to correct habits, yes, I came from very rich backgrounds when we started HRD and we had it very difficult time to learn the HRD way, now after all this time we can control and do what our minds wants rather than think of this is the better way, 'better way' is only perspective. think only of my minds wants this and slave the body to it. after all you are in command o your mind and themind is supposed to control the body, altough that is the whole point of training, to bring that into control."

晚上play capoeria的时候果然relax了很多。想来再过上3，4个月就能feel comfortable了。

Past Few Days

症状又严重了
于是没写，我的意志还真是脆弱
想不出来我还有什么没想通的
除非我是把这个作为stress-release
可是感觉也没有大的stress么
汗

星期2，4去看了新的martial arts地方，那个据说有30年经验的老师的技术，实在是惨不忍睹
太极我不了解，看他的姿势，我觉得不是很好，只是感觉而已
至于iaido，虽然我２没有练刀，但是他根本不会用刀．．．．．．
一上来就教form，而不是基础的cut
真是误人的那种

星期３，星期６也没有去capoeira
真是严重的状态

真是讨厌政治和商业化的国内神秘学
估计要大换血了

Q: How to cure my sickness?

1. 问题 - 剑6 - dealing with the effects of trauma/getting over a tough time/picking up the piecess/tarting to cope/beginning to get your health back/heading toward a more positive place/feeling hope again
2. 起因 - 章9 - - being undisciplined/self-indulgent/no trust in one's own grit and determination
3. 目前状态 - 杯4 - wrapped up for the moment in one's own world/can't get out
4. 建议 - 战车 - being determined to succeed/knowing who you are/curbing impulses/maintaining discipline
5. 未来 - 审判 - feeling reborn /seeing everything in a new light/discovering joy

Clarfication of 建议
死神- - rebirth, fresh start
杯8 - realizing the current cycle is overa/bandoning a hopeless situation/starting on a trip of unknown length
塔- - recognize that the disruption occurred because it was needed/try to find the positive in it/been forced in a new direction/insight about your situation and reach a new level of understanding

看来主题是a fresh start，是说新的什么呢? a new place to live, a new thing to learn, or a new trip? Chariot and Cup 8 seems saying a new trip or a new place to live. Let's See.

3500年的孤独

God Emperor of Dune是沙丘系列中最不受读者喜欢的一本。实在是艰涩难懂。第一次看的时候还是高中，根本无法理解为什么Frank Herbert会浪费一整本书去写Leto II。就算我跳过这本，Heretics of Dune和Chapterhouse Dune还是连贯清晰。而且Leo II在God Emperor of Dune里绝对不是一个讨喜的主角。
直到10年后的今天，我才能真正开始理解(start to grasp)Frank Herbert在沙丘系列里所要表达的各种主题。
Leto II是沙丘里最强大的英雄和最邪恶的反面人物。

Frank Herbert写沙丘的主要一个主题是"I had this idea that superheros were disastrous for humans. " （我有了一个关于'超人'对于人类来说是灾难的灵感。）而Leto II就是这个主题的中心。Leto II的父亲, Paul, 想唤醒人类，他失败了。因为在第一本书(Dune)中，Paul已经是英雄，无论他做什么，只能让别人更加崇拜他而已(Dune Messiah)。而Leto II想让人类入睡，压迫他们到极端，直到他们自己成熟觉醒。他决定让自己成为人类的最大敌人。

在Children of Dune里, Leto II和Paul的一段对话:

Tears slipped from the sightless eyes and Paul released his grip, dropped his hand to his side.
"If I'd chosen your way, I'd have become the bicouros of shaitan. What will you become?"
"For a time they'll call me the missionary of shaitan, too," Leto said.
"Then they'll begin to wonder and, finally, they'll understand. You didn't take your vision far enough, father. Your hands did good things and evil."
"But the evil was known after the event!"
"Which is the way of many great evils," Leto said. "You crossed over only into a part of my vision. Was your strength not enough?"
"You know I couldn't stay there. I could never do an evil act which was known before the act. I'm not Jacurutu." He clambered to his feet. "Do you think me one of those who laughs alone at night?"
"It is sad that you were never really Fremen," Leto said. "We Fremen know how to commission the arifa. Our judges can choose between evils. It's always been that way for us."

我想Paul永远无法按Leto的方法去做，那是因为他是成长之后才成为Kwisatz Haderach的。作为人，作为尤其是军人家族出生的公爵，他无法做到抛弃对他忠诚的人们。而Leto和Paul的妹妹Alia一样，是在出生前就被唤醒的。Leto实际上也从来没有成为过真正的“人”。 无论是应为他的'超人'能力还是他是在成人之前就开始改造自己的基因，准备用几千年的时间把自己改造成sand worm。

而在God Emperor of Dune写的Leto II，就是经过了3,500多年的孤独和痛苦之后God Emperor。3,500年，真是无法想象，想想我自己未来还要活35年所要经历的孤独和痛苦都几乎能让人失去生存的勇气。而Leto就那样sufer了3,500年完完全全地孤独。他能预见所有人类的一切一切。每天对他来说就好像是已经知道所有细节的电影，毫无惊喜可言。他在这漫长的日子里把自己一点一点地改造成sand worm，已经没有'脚'可以走路，没有手可以拥抱。他知道自己什么时候死亡，而身体死亡之后，他的意识会被分成无数"无意识"在所有的未来sand worm里，他永远无法得到真正的死亡。这样的经历绝对是无法造出讨喜的角色性格的。God Emperor of Dune里对他的一次刺杀行为居然对他来说是非常难得的一次惊喜以及纯粹的快乐。

沙丘系列的前三部是为了引出Leto II这个中心人物，后三部则是描写有了他之后的后果。无论是书内的人物还是读者，结论往往是End does not adjustify the Means。能真正理解他的只有他的双胞胎Sheena, 以及制造了他父亲的Bene Gesserit吧。所以唯一能在God Emperor of Dune稍微得到照顾的就是Bene Gesserit。Leto是悲剧势的英雄，但是他永远不会被承认，永远不会被原谅，而他也知道。

那么就以他的话来作为这篇文章的结尾吧。
"You cannot understand history unless you understand its flowings, its currents and the ways leaders move within such forces. A leader tries to perpetuate the conditions which demand his leadership. Thus, the leader requires the outsider. I caution you to examine my career with care. I am both leader and outsider. Do not make the mistake of assuming that I only created the Church which was the State. That was my function as leader and I had many historical models to use a pattern. For a clue to my role as outsider, look at the arts of my time. The arts are barbaric. The favorite poetry? The Epic. The popular dramatic ideal? Heroism. Dances? Wildly abandoned. From Moneo's viewpoint, he is correct in describing this as dangerous. It stimulates the imagination. It makes people feel the lack of that which I have taken from them. What did I take from them? The right to participate in history. "
-The Stolen Journals

然而我的疑问是如果这样迫使Human as a whole成熟是唯一的方法的话，那么应该是看着Human自然自我毁灭呢，还是这样的Evil是neccessary?